I’m delighted mom helps me change my thinking
I need help remembering life
Is hard, however it is human instinct
To overthink my lack
Of control. Everyone loses control sometimes
My instinct is to go back
To childhood how I
Was bullied
God’s quiet help
Overcame his voice
Higher than the bullies
More numinous than human children
Emotions take me back
To that playground long ago
I limit my eating living in the painful past
When I’m dysregulated I hear their ridicule
Equal to hearing my own judgment
I honestly listen longer to them
Than to god. I need to make my mind
Nicer to me. Mind controls emotion.
I need to listen to god.
No man is higher than god.
From The Listeners Book Club:
ReplyDeleteMoritz-I love this essay Joshua!
Jack M-Amazing
Jack-Beautifully written, Joshua
Aulton-I saw Joshua today! We hung out in my hot-tub! He is kind and driven. His poetry shines his heart.
Aiden-Beautiful poem, Joshua!
Thomas-That was beautiful
Brynn-I feel the same, Joshua. I also need to listen to God more
Ruhi-Very beautiful
Luke-Listening and grace
Sasha-More than anything I loved to hear these words! I've heard a true picture of our lives
Nina-That's so raw and real. I have been there. I understand you, Joshua. It's beautiful
Rocco-Honest and brave, Joshua
Trevor-Happy to know I am not alone in my struggles with my body, Joshua. So glad you wrote this.
Luke-I like your spiritual connection and the rhythm of this masterpiece! Was it easy to co.pose?
Rocco-So proud of who you are, Joshua
Devon-I am way sorry that you went through that. I feel for you and how hard it was and still is. I want to have your faith, it sounds very strong and I think you're getting that happiness is much more possible in God than humans
Owen-Josh it is good to bear your thoughts. It is so hard getting control of my body, it is one of the hellish aspects of life. I can't think of anything I have control over...
Miller-Josh, I think I am the same. I think you tell it so well. I think you are awesome.